A picture of an elephant in a room sitting on a body with only the legs exposed.

The Elephant in the Room – Objective News

 

‘Objective News’, the column where real impartial facts are sourced from incapable of speaking objects.

Bob (42) is married. Bob’s cousin Roberta (25), is also married – but to someone else (not Bob). Bob and Roberta seem to get on really really well. I thought perhaps too well. I asked several family members to comment on the situation, yet not one wanted to mention ‘the elephant in the room’.

So, this news hound did what he does best – I went straight to the elephant in the room and asked for comment.

Elephant sitting on a man in a room saying the word Awkward.
The family are doing their best to squash the rumor, and to prevent damaging leaks.

 

I am Fergus Gomez Dog, and I don’t have time for this. (If you do, here was the last edition).

Photo Credit: David Blackwell. via Compfight cc note this transformed version is NOT for reuse.

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Fergus Gomez Dog is a real dog. Fergus Gomez Dog is also metaphyiscal manifestation of internet, social media, search and feed algorithims which we adjust every few days based on choices he makes, continually creating random twists. We bring you footage, details on the algorithim and the results.

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