Shocking news that came in ages ago, but we’ve only just gotten around to publishing it. Free Daily Sameness has been made aware that famed international leader of a country, President Francois Hollande, may in actual fact be a
Recent images cut and pasted from a variety of Internet (read dubious) sources definitely confirm that Mr Hollande has left hanging tendencies.
However, we need to make it clear that these pictures do not prove that the President ‘hangs to the left’. That would be a personal matter for the president or for the many women he has been associated with – or for someone to invent an X-Ray capable camera lens; and if someone did invent this, why would they waste it by taking photograph’s of a head of states state of head?
In other news that leads one to suspect ‘constant shiftiness’, Mr Hollande is not actually the president of Holland. Or the Netherlands. Or Never Never Land. But…France. This makes sense because Holland hangs to the right of France according to ‘The Collins Atlas for School’, 1992.
French presidential staff have been keen to make clear that these numbing incidents are in no way related to his new Facebook status – ‘single’, thereby causing other world leaders to remain eurosceptical as to the sovereignty of France’s hand.
As an under-the-covers reporter, I can only submit the facts, and the president’s handshake is firm yet gentle, with silky smooth skin and a fragrance reminiscent of Vitamin E.
I asked another former head of state of a minor nation, Bill Clinton, if he had any tips for Mr Holland. He chuckled, looked around the room furtively and asked, “Want me to show you where Marine Le Penis?”
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