Total confusion and mild disappointment reigned across the Internet this week with millions of Japanese people disappointed with the news that the annual hunt of Wales has been called off.
In what is regarded as a traditional practice with spiritual significance, activists such as the welsh national party Plaid Cymru have claimed victory on a watery stage which leaves a lot of Japanese geography teachers and ‘Welsh Studies’ experts with nothing to do for the next year.
“This is an outrage”, said Mr. Igrashi (San). “It’s our birthright to hunt Wales, and we argue the fact that Wales is not an endangered species, as there is clearly one Wales left which is ripe for the picking.” Mr Igarashi cites Japanese reverence for the valuable and rare car spare-parts that are only found in South Wales. These parts particularly suit the Nissan and Toyota cars that the Japanese love to make for tradition loving families.
Greenpeace activist Iphelia Flowers was quick to provide a counter-argument, “Wales is in grave danger because of human actions: the industrialization of coastlines is affecting their ability to rent beach-huts to the elderly; the proliferation of Iron Chef is eroding the local tradition of producing Welsh Rarebit; and the spread of sushi is starting to bring way too many attractive people into the country.”
Japanese geography teachers have hunted Wales for centuries, and their justification is further based upon the following additional yet flaccid points:
1. Unprompted powerful singing at sports events causing outbreaks of prickly neck syndrome.
2. They haven’t produced an actor of real quality since Burton Richard or that Silence of the Lambs guy Sir Antony Hopscotch.
3. The Prince of Wales is a maverick japester pretending to be a ruddy cheeked heir to the throne of Britain who must be stopped so that a Greyjoy or Stark can have it.
4. Many Non-British people cannot find Wales on a map. This has spread to many Welsh people not being able to find Wales on a map.
5. Wales provides a viable tourist route into that other island with British connections just across the sea…Iceland.
This is Trevor Borough Council, and I have some filing to do.
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