“Will he, or will he?” That’s the question on everyone’s mind who happened to see Jeb Bush’s name on the television or internet after The Washington Post informed us that Jeb is being courted by wealthy Republicans to run for president in this classic riches-to-riches tale.
“I can honestly tell you that I don’t know what I’m going to do,” said Jeb, son of Zapata Oil founder (not to be confused with the CIA’s Bay of Pigs invasion Operation Zapata) George H. W. Bush, who famously solved the murder-mystery of President John Kennedy on the day of the assassination by fingering James Parrott. Reassuring words, Mr. President!
“If [sic] I run for president, it’s not because of something in my DNA that compels me to do it,” Jeb told Fox News in March 2013, although DNA certainly seems to be a critical factor in selecting presidential candidates. “It would be that it’s the right thing to do for my family, that the conditions are right, and that I have something to offer.”
But what does Jeb’s family think? Is being the President of the United States the right thing to do for them?
Just ask Jeb’s brother, world-famous painter George W. Bush. “He doesn’t need my counsel because he knows what it is: run!” Coincidentally, George had the same advice to his brother regarding his mother’s aborted fetus jar.
The Supreme Court, a small but integral part of Jeb’s extended family who helped launch his brother’s “shock and awe” art career in Florida back in 2000, was enthusiastic as well. The Court’s “Attaboy!” came as an April 2014 decision to allow wealthy donors to support an unlimited number of candidates—quite literally a gift that keeps giving.
Jeb’s brother, Neil Bush, who gets to have sex with totally random women who knock on his hotel door when he’s on vacation, could not be reached for comment, nor could his brother Marvin, who attended Woodberry Forest School and probably did some other things, according to the Who’s Who of The Internet, also known as Wikipedia.
Jeb’s son, another fucking “George Bush” but this time with a P in it, thinks his dad would make a “fantastic” president. And it would certainly help with the “George P. Bush 2024” campaign, as well as his son Prescott Bush’s campaign slated for 2048.
Jeb’s presidential campaign will not go uncontested, however. Friend of the family Hillary Clinton, wife of sexy jazzy saxophonist Bill Clinton, is also not not considering a run back to the White House.