Today, noted ‘professionals’ web site LinkedIn sent me way too many bloody emails.
This taught me a valuable professional skill called ‘ how to delete massive amounts of emails in bulk from Gmail‘. As a result, one colleague and lots of people I barely recognize endorsed me for the attribute “productive”. After which I then decided to unsubscribe from all LinkedIn emails.
This caused more people I barely recognize to then endorse me for the attribute “clinical.” I know this because LinkedIn sent me an email confirming it.
I have since unsuccessfully attempted to nominate myself for the “love of God and everything holy” endorsement as my life sinks to new ‘professional’ lows. All of my colleagues endorsed this, while people I barely recognize shifted uncomfortably in their seats as they pondered other ways to grow their list of contacts.