Marc Downe loves reminding everyone what a trooper he is… a pink storm trooper from the movie ‘The Empire Strokes Back’. 

Much has been said about revolutions lately. This ever-evolving notion of challenging for change and thwarting our oppressors is key to our betterment as a tribe but it can sometimes simmer for too long without ever bringing to boil, allowing the bubbling brew to burn, reaching a point where it is no longer fit for consumption. If we are to swallow the idea of real revolution, it mustn’t marinade for too long otherwise our collective ideals will simply transfer to collective anger, and with anger nothing is really actionable, because anger is not a pliable emotion that can be manipulated into something civil. No, for a real revolution to take place and stay there, what is required is snobbery.

The advent of the Renaissance, the one true revolution that still exists in pockets of society (sadly those pockets are also full of lint and self-importance), was really only brought about because certain people, the better people, knew they were better and wanted to prove this to everyone else. So they created better art, better music, better buildings, better fashion, better dishes, better everything. They were better educated and knew it. I live by this ideal, and if someone ever said to me, “You think you’re better than me?”, I would answer “Yes.”, because I am. Because I would never think to ask someone that question, therefore I am already better than you because I believe myself to be. So there. And if you think that you are better than me, great! Then we can silently battle to be better than each other – is that so bad? Isn’t that what we should be doing?

There are those who think they are better than everyone else but hold on to silly ideals of nationalism that border on racist, but you and I are better than those people, right? We’re better than the Sarah Palins, the Tony Abbotts, the right-wing fuckwits. And by all scientific polling data, we are right. We are better than the inbred masses who believe that corporations don’t run things, that immunisations are bad, that gays can’t marry, and that sportspeople deserve to be idolised. See.. I even think I’m better than you. And I am. I will prove this by buying farm fresh eggs, listening to Debussy, and recycling.

You will now think that I am full of shit and think that love is what is required to make us better. Then some will say that peace is what is required to enforce true revolution. And this is what is supposed to happen. Be better than me. Prove me right by proving me wrong. I am a naughty word because I think I am better than you, but you think you are not one by being better than me. Just simmer in your naughtywordiness and everyone else will try to be better.

If we try to outdo each other with notions of civility and snobbery, then notions of corruption and greed will start to disappear. But if we all think that it’s okay to be docile, badly dressed, listen to shit music and watch stupid television shows, then that’s exactly what we will get.  If you can prove to me that we have not already reached a point of mediocrity, trying to dumb ourselves down so that everyone can get a foot in the door, I think it’s time we open a window so those under it will need to climb to see what’s outside.

Russell Brand doesn’t want to start a fight, he wants to end a war. He thinks he is smarter, funnier, and sexier than everyone else. And good for him, it’s probably true. But for us to properly join him on this crusade we need to walk with him to show him that we are just as smart, just as funny, and a fuck-load sexier. He thinks he’s so good with his persistently wet hair and his manicured beard! Fuck him! My hair is better and my beard is far more manicured.. I’ll show him!

We are reaching a point of change. If you stop for five seconds, you can feel it. I know there are things we are told to be frightened of at the moment, and the pissweak media is ejaculating ebola and ISIS all over our faces but I promise you, it’s because there are people out there, dumber than us, who are actually letting it sink in.

Don’t let it. You aren’t stupid, right? You are an intelligent, hot person who is better than all the best of us. If we all out-snob each other, one day we may actually be that which we strive. Bright beyond comprehension, then beyond all else left to comprehend.

Doesn’t sound too bad, does it?

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Much more than just a hairdo, he is hip and groin. He was one of the founding members of the now defunct ChristianFondle.com, and believes that disco music was made to make you dance. He once wore a pair of shoes, and nothing will stop him from breathing but sweet, sweet death.

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