Are not here…sorry.
However we imagine that Miley Cyrus is indeed occasionally topless and that images may exist. Possible circumstances for this may not include:
- That she cannot find any clothes at all, at all.
- She’s lost in an enormous wardrobe unable to find a nice top for a photo shoot, but does succeed in finding the door to Narnia.
- She enters the shower with the intention to shower, as opposed to entering the shower with the intention to clean soap scum from around the tiles with a toothbrush and a little bleach, when she could have used distilled white vinegar instead.
- When she takes off one of those bra-type things she has; using the skills of a welder and a small team of laborers that may or may not be on minimal wages (we have no proof of the wages part) and someone accidentally has a camera that gets pressed right at that exact moment, rendering an image of her with a lot of men in construction type outfits, that would be misconstrued by the Internet at large.
- When she takes a selfie from the waist down only, that photo would indeed be…topless.
We don’t want to disappoint our Free Daily Sameness Readers, so next week we have lined up an ultra-exclusive and very suggestive topless photo shoot of a bottle of Yeungling. Here is a ‘top-on’ teaser.